Chapter 9 - Going Ashore
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Shen Dong lay on his back. Cao Mu’s right arm and leg circled his stomach and pressed down on his legs. This position made a strong, indescribable feeling well up in Shen Dong.
From what he could remember, he’d rarely if at all had anyone touch him in this way.
Seven years ago, when he’d first met Chen-shu, they’d shaken hands. Since then, the only other time he’d had contact with someone was shaking that captain’s hand.
Though if you counted Cao Mu as a human, then they’d touched quite a few times, had hit him a few times…
Cao Mu’s naked body pressed against Shen Dong’s. His stomach and legs where their skin touched burned hot. Shen Dong wasn’t sure if it was from the pressure of them or from his general tension but he could feel his heart throbbing.
“You…” Shen Dong patted Cao Mu’s arm.
“Oh?” Only a few minutes had passed, but Cao Mu’s voice was already laden with sleepiness.
“Cold?” Shen Dong glanced at him.
Cao Mu opened his eyes and looked vaguely back at him. “Not cold. If you’re cold, you use the blanket. I don’t need to. Even in winter I sleep like this.”
“N-no…” Shen Dong patted his leg. “W-why are you…?”
“Ah?” Cao Mu looked around then pulled back his arm and leg. “Am I squishing you? It wasn’t on purpose.”
I didn’t say it was.
Shen Dong sighed. “Didn’t…”
“Didn’t?” Cao Mu’s arm and leg came back and lay across him again. “I thought I was squashing you.”
“Didn’t say you did it on purpose.” Shen Dong sighed.
“Oh.” Cao Mu hesitated then withdrew his arm and leg again then lay back flat on the bed. “You’re annoying.”
Shen Dong said nothing. He wasn’t sure what to say.
“When I was with my grandpa, when I slept, I’d hold his arm,” Cao Mu said with a smile after a while. “I don’t know why, but when I lie next to you, I don’t want to hold your arm.”
“Sleep.” Shen Dong closed his eyes.
“Have you got a girlfriend?” Cao Mu suddenly asked.
This question stunned Shen Dong. Cao Mu knew what a ‘girlfriend’ was?
“No,” Shen Dong replied, his eyes still closed. He’d been on this island for a good few years completely alone. Even if he’d had a girlfriend, they would have long ago broken up.
Besides…
“My sister said you can hold a girlfriend to sleep.”
Shen Dong nearly choked. How could he answer this? What kind of sister was this?!
Looks like the person she’d gone with was her boyfriend, or at least someone who had explained what a ‘girlfriend’ was. After thinking this, Shen Dong felt a vague sense of unease. He wasn’t sure if he was just being too pessimistic, but he felt a kind of foreboding for Yu Xiaojia.
“Have you held one?” Cao Mu continued on without waiting for his reponse.
“Ah?”
“Held a girlfriend? Before you don’t have, what about before?”
Shen Dong realised his previous estimation of Cao Mu was incorrect. Seems like the guy had more in his head than he thought.
Cao Mu waited in anticipation for his reply until Shen Dong finally sighed. “No. I… I don’t want to h-hold a girl.”
“Why?” Cao Mu asked curiously.
“You want to?” Shen Dong side eyed him. He’d underestimated him before.
“Don’t wanna,” Cao Mu said with a laugh. “I asked you first. Why not?”
“I like to hold boys,” Shen Dong said bitingly.
“Ah?” Cao Mu looked dazed, but before Shen Dong could laugh, he grabbed one of Shen Dong’s arms and pulled it around himself. “Then you hold me then. I’m a boy.”
“I…” Shen Dong went rigid then yanked his arm back. He kicked his foot against Cao Mu’s middle. “Get off!”
“Shen Dong!” Cao Mu nearly fell off the bed. He angrily sat up and turned to face Shen Dong and his foot. “You’re still hitting people! Whatever I say, you just hit hit hit!”
Shen Dong held his foot with one hand and pointed with his other. “Get down!”
Cao Mu’s brow furrowed and he stared at him for a while. Finally, he got off the bed. “I’m getting down, I’m getting down.”
Shen Dong said nothing. He thought Cao Mu would leave entirely but instead he merely sat back on the stool by the door and leaned against the wall with his eyes shut. “Don’t wanna talk to you.”
Bam!
Shen Dong hit the bedhead then forcefully turned to facet the wall and squeezed his eyes shut.
From what he could recall, he’d never been physically all that close to anyone, not even a hug from his parents. In his memories, he was nearly always alone and there were long stretches between when he saw them.
He’d previously longed for physical touch. Not even a hug, but just a pat on the head would have been fine, but as time passed, this longing gradually disappeared. Now, after all these years on the island alone, he was used to being isolated.
Though what he said to Cao Mu was the truth, and there was an innocence to him that made Shen Dong relax, but the suddenness of it all made him reflexively reject it. He didn’t know what it was that made him so uncomfortable.
Besides, he’d never thought about being with a fish or anything like that.
Shen Dong ground his teeth for a while facing the well, then finally opened his eyes. Actually, this fish didn’t seem to have thought much about being with him either…
He slowly turned to look over at the door. In the moonlight, he could see that Cao Mu was already fast asleep.
Ugh.
Shen Dong woke at daybreak as was his habit. When he did, he found that there was no hint of Cao Mu. He’d already left.
Shen Dong opened his door and looked out and still saw no one. As he got his cup to brush his teeth he wondered, had Cao Mu gone home?
He got up real early.
When he went to go relieve Chen-shu at the lighthouse, he found Chen-shu crouched on the ground, a large spread of cards out before him. Looked like he had the whole pack out.
“P-playing ‘Fighting… the Landlord’?” Shen Dong asked after taking a look.
“I’m playing against myself,” Chen-shu said with a laugh. He got up and stretched. “Now that you’re here, I’ll can tell your fortune. Look.”
“I don’t get it.” Shen Dong went over to the computer and pressed its on switch and waited with baited breath. To think Chen-shu had to pass the whole night with fortune telling. He felt he’d done him dirty.
“Don’t bother. I tried a dozen times last night,” Chen-shu tapped a card on the ground. “Come. I’ll tell you.”
Shen Dong grinned and went over to stand next to Chen-shu. The man was quite chatty today.
The girls in Shen Dong’s high school had liked to use this method of fortune telling, but he didn’t put much stock in it. Each time the results were different, like, if his deskmate was predicting how long he’d live for, the answers ranged from thirty all the way up to a hundred and twenty. He decided to go with the latter.
“You see? In the first part of your life, not, in the first part of your childhood, it was pretty normal.” Chen-shu pointed at one of the cards. “Did you have few friends?”
“Oh,” Shen Dong replied. Friends?
“And you had a sickness, no… At around ten years old, something big happened, right?” Chen-shu continued on pointed at different cards. “If you don’t wanna talk about it, that’s fine. I’m just repeating what the cards are saying.”
“Oh.” Shen Dong didn’t remember what kind of sickness or what kind of big thing had happened, but as Chen-shu started he to talk about these things, his head suddenly started to ache.
“Then when you came to the island, nothing much happened, now flip this card… then afterwards there was some… I’m not sure what.” Chen-shu laughed at this point. “Then you were no longer alone?”
“Oh?” Shen Dong looked blankly at him. Yeah, right now he wasn’t alone. Including Cao Mu there were three people on the island.
“It’s not quite dating but…” Chen-shu mumbled on as he looked over the cards and didn’t continue to explain to Shen Dong.
“Go s-sleep,” Shen Dong said, taking a seat. He looked at the previous night’s logs and saw that, as usual, there was the exact same note under each hour. No slacking off here.
But at four in the morning there was a different note. Shen Dong was shocked. Had something actually happened?
At four fifteen the radio had received a message: The sun’s up! Good morning! I am Captain Jack!
“W-what’s th-this?” Shen Dong looked over it again to make sure he was seeing it right, but clearly written on the page was the name ‘Captain Jack’.
“Oh right, I meant to ask you. During the time I was gone, did you get any messages from Captain Jack?”
“No.”
“Then he must have put it together these past few days,” Chen-shu said with a chuckle. “As soon as I heard his voice, I knew it was Hong Jie. It’s the grandson of Old Hong from the village. You never go ashore so you wouldn’t know him.”
“Oh.” That day Hong Jie had indeed said he knew Chen-shu worked at the lighthouse, he just hadn’t expected Hong Jie to build a transmitter and randomly send out a broadcast in the middle of the night.
“That kid…” Chen-shu pointed at his own head. “Isn’t quite right up here. Some things he’s clear on, but with some things he’s like a little kid. I can’t quite explain it.”
“Ah?” Shen Dong was surprised. The image of Hong Jie pointing at his own head and saying that Fishy Cao wasn’t quite right in the head flashed before Shen Dong’s eyes. After all was said and done, who exactly wasn’t quite right in the head then?
“He spends most of the year on his boat. He must have been a fish in his previous life.” Chen-shu cleared up his things in the Watch Room then went to the door. “I’m heading off to sleep. You keep an eye on things.”
After Chen-shu left, Shen Dong sat in the Watch Room and stared at the white walls for an hour. Then he got up and went to the window. He might as well take a look and see if there was a sapphire Fishy Cao on the rocks below.
But for the rest of the day, Shen Dong saw neither hide nor hair of Cao Mu. He knew that since Chen-shu had come back, Cao Mu wouldn’t come near the lighthouse, yet he somehow felt disappointed, or perhaps, he actually really wanted to see Cao Mu.
When it came time to cook his meal, he made two portions and only realised after he had finished. He hesitated for a while then finally ate the entirety of the pot himself.
And thus he spent the next few hours in the Watch Room feeling like he needed to throw up.
No minesweepers, no Cao Mu to chat with, but fortunately Shen Dong was an old hand at amusing himself. He sat back in his chair and stared at the wall and began to image a drawing on it.
Draw a fish… then add some colour, orange, no, black, black and white stripes… a zebra fish…
“Good evening! The moon sure is round tonight! This is Captain Jack!”
Shen Dong choked. The eternally silent radio had not just suddenly crackled to life, but had transmitted an absolutely meaningless message.
“Hong Jie? Don’t hog the signal…”
“Yo! There’s someone there! Last night I yelled for ages but got ignored. The lighthouse can be cancelled any time, what’s the fuss about taking up the signal?” Hong Jie’s voice was jovial. “You’re not Chen-shu, Chen-shu would just ignore me. You’re Shen Dong, right? We met at Fishy Cao’s home that day, right?”
“Yes. Anything the matter? If there isn’t, then wait until the lighthouse is cancelled to play around.” Shen Dong drank his cup of tea.
“Nothing’s the matter, I just wanted to try out my wireless, see if it’s good or not.” Hong Jie laughed for a while. “If there’s anything I can help with, just give me a yell.”
“Okay. Over and out.” Shen Dong now understood why Chen-shu had ignored Hong Jie. He could tell that Hong Jie would be happy to hog the signal the rest of the night with his chatter like it was a free radiostation.
Although…
“Captain!” Shen Dong called out. “Do you copy?”
“Copy!”
“Can you come over tomorrow and take the computer to the mainland to get fixed…?”
“Go ashore?” Hong Jie seemed highly unwilling. “My boat are my bones and the sea is my blood! I shalt not go ashore! Over and out!”
Shen Dong smiled helplessly and said not more. He wrote down Captain Jack’s musings about the roundness of the moon and nothing else.
Shen Dong spent the rest of the evening staring at the wall, drawing in his head. Watercolour, oil paint, pencil sketching, all masterworks. At dawn, he gave a satisfied stretch and went to the window to greet the sun.
As usual, he looked to the rocks but of course didn’t see anyone he knew.
After completing the work handover with Chen-shu, Shen Dong planned to have a walk around and see if he could find Cao Mu.
But after walking around over half the island and no Cao Mu, he came across a boat.
He stopped in his tracks.
You shouldn’t blame Shen Dong for being so surprised to see a boat here. True, the whole purpose of the lighthouse is to guide boats and ships, but in his seven years here, he hadn’t gotten to see that many, and all of those had been conventional looking. Unlike the two hundred metre long thing floating in front of him.
The boat wasn’t big, but it was complex looking, the most eye-catching bit being the four different sails strung up along it. They were all black with a hand painted white skull on each of them. What a diligent pirate.
Undoubtably, this was Hong Jie’s boat.
Shen Dong squinted and saw that, indeed, Hong Jie was standing under the sails… waving a pair of small flags at him. Requesting landing.
Shen Dong didn’t feel like playing pirate with Hong Jie but before he could turn to go home, he noticed something sapphire blue behind Hong Jie.
That beautiful, warm blue popped out from the cool, ocean blue behind it and Shen Dong immediately recognised it. It was the blue of the shirt he’d given Cao Mu.
So Cao Mu and Hong Jie were together. Shen Dong sighed. He hesitated a few moments, then took off his own bright green shirt and used it to signal Hong Jie to find a place to make birth himself.
Before long, the single eyed Captain Jack and Cao Mu strode ashore. Today, the eyepatch was on the captain’s left eye.
“Good morning!” Hong Jie said with a wave.
“Morning,” Shen Dong replied with a grin. He turned to look at Cao Mu. “Where’ve you been?”
“On the sea, with this person,” Cao Mu sidled over to Shen Dong and pointed toward Hong Jie. “Do you remember who he is?”
“Captain,” Shen Dong replied, “J, Ja… Ja…”
“-Ck! Captain Jack!” Hong Jie shouted. “Forget it. Let me tell you, today, I’ve had to tell him at least twenty times who I am. Seems like the kid’s head’s beyond repair!”
“It’s not broken,” Cao Mu said with a shrug and a smile. “I remember Shen Dong. See?”
“Fine, I’m not arguing with you anymore,” Hong Jie seemed uninterested in continuing and went up to Shen Dong instead and clapped him on the shoulder. “I have come to your aid.”
“Ah?” Shen Dong stared at him.
“Didn’t you want to go get the compute fixed? I’m here to pick you up. Let’s go,” Hong Jie said with a wave of his hand. “Go get the thing. I’ll wait for you on my boat.”
“You’re going ashore?” Cao Mu looked excitedly at Shen Dong. “I’m coming too!”
Shen Dong was unsure how ‘help me bring my computer ashore to get fixed’ had become ‘let’s all go ashore to get the computer fixed’, no, that wasn’t the important bit. The important bit was: going ashore!
He, a person who hadn’t been on the mainland for seven years, was now going. Shen Dong suddenly felt awful. He stared frozen at the ocean.